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As I sit in my office the week after Chrsitmas I am bombarded with thoughts of what I want to accomplish in 2010 - things that I think will add value to my life. I want to re-learn Greek.  I would like to lose weight.  I hope to spend more time with my family.   I want to learn to be a better time manager.  I would like to visit Gettysburg.  (Maybe not life changing, but on my wish list)  I want to be more consistent in my blogging!

Isn't that the way the new year always begins? I want to do better, improve.  If you are like me you can get overwhemlmed with your inadequacy.  This pours over into my spiritual life as well.  In my life this is a reccurring theme:  When I do well, I feel God loves me more, and when I do poorly, I feel like God does not want to have anything to do with me.  However, nothing could be further from the truth. 

God's love is not conditional, and it is not dependant upon my performance or upon my feelings.  First, I could never earn the love of God.  All of my righteousness is as filthy rags before the Lord.  Even the good I do now, is only the work of God's Spirit within me.  Second, my feelings should never be the gauge of God's activity.  The human heart is consistently decieving us, and our feelings will continue to lead us astray. 

Therefore I have resolved this year to be the Year of Grace.  A year  in which I pin my hopes not on what I accomplish or do not accomplish, but a year that I learn to accept the fact that I have been given what I do not deserve, and therefore, I was deemed valuable.  I hope this year to accomplish the things listed above and many more; but my value is found in the gift I recieved.